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    Mr A and Mr B

Imagine a scenario-Mr A and Mr B are both pws who go to the same college.At the end of the semester each student has to give a presentation about a pregiven topic.Now let us go and see both the guys' presentation:-

 We will take up Mr. A first:

Mr. A wakes up in the in the morning feeling as abysmal as ever.First thought in his mind-"Can I bunk this ????"Deep inside he knows he cant but still he likes to keep the option open by coming up with various plans.He spends a large chunk of the day brooding and cursing  and then spends some more time cursing the professor for coming up with presentation idea !!!! How unfair,he thinks !!!!(Mind you,he hasnt started his preparation even a bit).He spends most of the day thinking about the various scenarios which could happen tomorrow.Finally ,late at night he opens wikipedia and just copies the content thinking why even bother with it.He already knows whats gonna happen tomorrow.When arranging it in a presentable format,the focus is not on the quality of content but on the maximum inclusion of words he can speak with relative ease(relavant or irrelavant,doesnt matter).He completes the whole exercise in less than an hour,practices it once just for formality sakes and goes to sleep.Oh I forgot-He curses God and the professor again before drifting off !!!!!!

 Enough of Mr A,now lets see what Mr B has been upto:

Mr B wakes up in the morning with anxiety.He is also nervous,very nervous for tomorrow.He freshens up and tells his anxiety to give him some rest while he gathers the contents of his speech !!!Anxiety half heartedly replies-"OK FINE !!!!!"Mr B now leaves no stone unturned in collecting the data.He browses every relevant site he can lay his eyes on.He goes to the local library to get some ideas.He even calls the professor to clear some doubts.The Anxiety on the other hand is like-"Hello !!!!

I am getting bored in here !!!!!"He finally finishes after arranging it in the desired format !!!! Anxiety is thrilled now to be back again !!! But Mr B says-"Please be patient !!!!I also need to practice it a few times !!!"Anxiety sighs and replies"Ok fine " all the while thinking how long could it possibly take.Now Mr B executes the final portion of his preparation.He practices,practices and practices some more .He practices alone,in front of a mirror,then with his dog,then goes to bother his mom and then goes to a friends house to practice with him !!!!Late at night he finally finishes being extra sure that he has done all that he could !!!!Anxiety,finally relieved says-"Can we play now ????? "Mr B just pulls the covers of his bed and says half asleep-"Are you kidding me ??? I am very tired !!! Let me sleep !!!!"Anxiety feeling very cheated decides to leave his long time friend for the night and hopes it can come some other day.But seeing Mr B's attitude it knows they will never be the friends they used to be and after some time it may have to say goodbye to him.Mr B on the other hand sleeps like a log not before praying to God for tomorrows presentation.

 Now I wont tell you what happened the next day,you probably know that but I can tell you that after the presentation the expression on both of their faces were quite contrasting !!!!! Thanx for bearing up with such a long story !!! Before I forget I would like to share a quote with you which probably will have a long lasting effect on me for life-Success and Excuses never go han

what do you think?

30p

Unlearn fear

A reader asks:

Is it possible to reduce your autonomic response to moments of stuttering? I mean the pounding heart, tightness in the stomach, etc. If it is possible, how does one go about doing this? By just entering into more situations that evoke the "fight or flight" response?

The pounding heart, and tightness in the stomach is due to a reaction to the situation you are in. Your brain has learned to associate certain situations with fear and anxiety. So the next time your brain encounters a similar situation, it automatically triggers fear and anxiety TO HELP YOU TO BE PREPARED FOR THE DANGEROUS SITUATION. The reason your brain has learned to associate certain situation with fear is because your belief system has said that the situation is dangerous.

 Two things you must do:

1) Re-visit your beliefs (Is stuttering in front of people dangerous?), and change your beliefs. At the end of the day, you need to have a belief like "It is not my fault that I am stuttering and there is no reason to be scared, embarrassed, or uncomfortable."

2) Unfortunately, changing your beliefs is not enough, because your brain has learned the association and you can only undo it by learning a new association. This means that you need to enter the situation over and over again, so that your brain realizes that it's not a dangerous situation. There are several techniques to achieve this effectively: here is a

Finding confident

Today’s post is from a special guest writer, who has inspired me with her words and courage. The following was written by Amanda Schott.

(Amanda gave me permission to slightly edit her piece for length. This article will also be printed in the next issue of the FRIENDS newsletter, Reaching Out. Amanda’s mom also gave consent for her piece to be published here!)

Stuttering is a setback that affects me every day of my life. Last year, when I was in eighth grade, I began to stutter. It happened overnight. There wasn’t any gradual thing where I did it once or twice and then it grew to a full-on problem. It hit me suddenly, and since I had never stuttered before, people noticed it big time.

I’m Amanda, a fifteen year old with a bubbly personality and an awesome sense of humor. But most people don’t see me that way. They only see the tourettes, ADHD, depression, and the stutter. They see a twitch that can’t control her emotions and acts like a two year old sometimes. I’m innocent and wise at the same time. Through it all, I grin and bear it, but the insults hurt all the same whether I show it or not.

My little brother and sister have both been through speech therapy for a couple years. They both went to two preschools at once for their speech and continued therapy in elementary school. It was a classic case for kids their age: talking too fast and dropping sounds mostly. So, when they learned to slow down and enunciate, they graduated from the speech class and talk fine.  Neither of them have ever had a stutter.

 I talked to my siblings’ speech therapist, and she said that there was no way I just got a stutter out of the blue. I did, though, and now I still have it a year later. I don’t stutter sounds, really, but I repeat words, especially short ones like ‘its’. ‘I think it’s, it’s’ it’s’ (long pause while I grit my teeth and force the next word out) ‘it’s because I…’ is something I do all the time.

 Hey Amanda, do you st-st-stutter?’ I hear CONSTANTLY. What’s sad is that I get that from my friends who know that I don’t even stutter like that!

 found out about an organization for teens who stutter while I was just searching the internet for anything that could help. I searched for ‘teens who stutter’ and clicked on a random link. It led me to the FRIENDS website and I saw there was a mentoring program for kids and teens. I printed the application and filled it out, thinking it could be good for me to be able to meet other kids like me.

  got an email from Gracie not too long later. I could tell right away that we would be amazing friends.  We email almost every day and talk about everything from stuttering to boy problems. We haven’t gotten around to calling each other because she doesn’t like talking on the phone. I want to talk her into it and show her that some people don’t care whether she stutters or not.

Talking to Gracie is so fun and I’m lucky to have her. We support each other and we’ve gotten really close. It’s helped a lot to have someone to talk to who understands what I’m going through and can relate to what I’m saying. Seeing a new email from Gracie always makes me smile and brightens my day.

I started to lose my passion for speaking when I got my stutter.  I got quieter, I held things inside that I wanted to say because I was afraid it wouldn’t come out right, I even avoided people that I talk more around! My best friend Chrissy was hurt because I didn’t talk to her for a while, and it wasn’t good at all. Now that I know a bit about stuttering, I’m more confident about it.

r.

I started to lose my passion for speaking when I got my stutter.  I got quieter, I held things inside that I wanted to say because I was afraid it wouldn’t come out right, I even avoided people that I talk more around! My best friend Chrissy was hurt because I didn’t talk to her for a while, and it wasn’t good at all. Now that I know a bit about stuttering, I’m more confident about it.

The most frustrating part of my stutter is when people finish my sentences! I hate that so much! It makes me feel bad to say anything though, because my friends are ‘just trying to help’, but it makes me feel incompetent when I can’t even talk for myself. So I decided to tell them all to stop. Now, whenever I can’t say something, I make a joke, like, ‘Hang on! I’ll get this!’ or I try to rephrase what I was going to say. I also remind my friends that ‘I can speak for myself if you’ll let me’ in nice tones.

It also bothers me when people interrupt me while I talk. I’m very talkative and I like to tell stories, but if I stutter and stop for a second, my friends will just launch into another story when I’m not done with mine. I’ve learned this is the line I don’t like having crossed, so I remind them ‘That was rude’. I still try to be humorous about it, but I can’t stand it when people are rude to others who are talking.



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